James Garrison, MD at 8848 Agency, looks at the changing face of LinkedIn and ponders whether it’s where reality goes to die.
Let’s talk about a special breed of human, the LinkedIn addict. These are the people who seem to have swapped their actual lives for a digital one, where every interaction is a potential networking opportunity and every status update is a carefully curated masterpiece of professional brilliance.
We see them, day in day out. Which of the following do you know?
The LinkedIn Guru
This person lives in a world of constant optimisation. Their profile is a meticulously crafted resume, complete with buzzwords like “synergy,” “disrupt,” and “low-hanging fruit.” They spend more time crafting the perfect LinkedIn post than they do on their actual job.
The Humblebragger
This species is particularly insidious. They’ll post about how “overwhelmed” they are with success, or how “humbled” they are by their latest award. It’s like they’re begging for compliments while simultaneously pretending to be too busy to care.
The Career Coach
Armed with questionable motivational quotes and an unhealthy obsession with personal branding, these folks are convinced they’re the next Tony Robbins. Their posts are a constant stream of advice on how to “crush it” and “level up.”
The Job Hopper
This person’s LinkedIn feed is a chronological record of their career crisis. Every few months, they announce a new job with a breathless enthusiasm that quickly fades as reality sets in.
The Networker Extraordinaire
Their connections list is longer than their to-do list. They’ll connect with anyone, anywhere, for any reason. It’s like they’re trying to build a human pyramid scheme.
And then there’s the rest of us, scrolling through our feeds, wondering if these people actually have friends or if they’ve replaced human interaction with endless scrolling. Maybe it’s time for a LinkedIn detox.